It may be that, like the apostle John, you know Jesus Christ
intimately. Yet when He suddenly appears to you with totally unfamiliar
characteristics, the only thing you can do is fall “at His feet as
dead.” There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way
than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which
brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in
hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be
by the hand of God.
“He laid His right hand on me . . .” (Revelation 1:17).
In the midst of the awesomeness, a touch comes, and you know it is the
right hand of Jesus Christ. You know it is not the hand of restraint,
correction, nor chastisement, but the right hand of the Everlasting
Father. Whenever His hand is laid upon you, it gives inexpressible peace
and comfort, and the sense that “underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27),
full of support, provision, comfort, and strength. And once His touch
comes, nothing at all can throw you into fear again. In the midst of all
His ascended glory, the Lord Jesus comes to speak to an insignificant
disciple, saying, “Do not be afraid” (Revelation 1:17). His tenderness is inexpressibly sweet. Do I know Him like that?
Take a look at some of the things that cause despair. There is
despair which has no delight, no limits whatsoever, and no hope of
anything brighter. But the delight of despair comes when “I know that in
me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells . . .” (Romans 7:18).
I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall
prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing
that if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can
do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly
possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.
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